Day 21: The Condom Launch

January 20, 2010

Day 21:

Wow!!!! Today was by far the most eventful day that I’ve had since I’ve been here. I’ll start with the beginning but if there’s ANY ENTRY OF MINE THAT YOU READ, IT’S THIS ONE!!
Okay so the day started off pretty good. My third period class was great despite the fact that Terri was absent for the third day in a row. I gave them a worksheet to do in which they had to correct three sentences in the imperative and then there was a paragraph that followed that had five corrections. Few people got through the paragraph but my rule was when they thought they had all the corrections to come up to my desk, show me their corrections, and I’d tell them if they were right or not. If they were wrong, then I had them go back and try to figure out what the mistakes were. And of course I hinted at the right answer and asked leading questions so that they’d understand and that’s what I expected out of the assignment. Before groups of people began coming to my desk I graded their homework assignments that they had written in their notebooks: three rules that their parents have for them within their respective homes; all written in the imperative. Every student did the homework. I was so pleased. The quality was decent too, but I was most surprised by the fact that every student that was there both days did the work. As some students were switching classrooms out of no where, right as I was starting my lesson, a shoe flies into my room. A single, solitary shoe. I look at it and ask my class who threw it, they all pointed outside. So introduced my lesson and went on with my class. Some kids came and peaked into the room but no one was “brave” enough to come in and get it. So once I had passed out the worksheets I picked up the shoe, sandal to be precise, and put it on my desk and went on about my business. The children all laughed and looked outside, I think one of the girls close to the door told the girl outside that I had the shoe. I figured someone would come back for it eventually. No one did.
Then there was my fourth period class. They’re usually more fun to work with just because they have more personality but the intelligence level is lower. It was the energy of that class that attracted me to work in the 7th grade class and not the 8th grade class that Ben is in. So before fourth period started a girl, not in my class, was standing at the door. I had seen her and suspected that the shoe was hers but she two on her feet. So I invited her to my desk and after coming in and running out shyly three times, she finally came to the desk. I asked her if it was her shoe. She said no. I asked her whose shoe it was. She said it was her friends. I asked who threw the shoe. She said, she did. I told her that shoes belong on feet and that she shouldn’t be throwing them. And then I said that if I found her throwing things again, especially into my classroom, that I’d send her to the principal’s office. Little did I know, that wouldn’t be the only threat I made to send a student to the principal’s office.
So fourth bell starts and all of the kids come in and I had to remind them of their seating assignments but things were pretty normal otherwise. Other than the fact that Bobby, I think I’ve talked about Bobby before, was sitting with his head in his arms trying to fall asleep in class. So I told Bobby to wake up and he sat up and looked at me while I gave instructions. So I pass out the papers and when I gave the paper to Bobby I asked if he was tired, he said no so I said, well stop putting your head down in my class. So I go back to my desk and Bobby’s head is down again. I tell him, “Bobby wake up! He pokes his head up but at this point its more than evident to me that I’m going to have to keep Bobby awake today, no problem I can do that. So I’m grading their notebooks when I hear the class start to get loud. So I look up from my desk and all the boys on the right half of the class are just looking at me like something happened that I didn’t notice. So I look around the class and everything looks normal. Except the fact that Bobby is missing. So, I stand up and begin my search for Bobby. Turns out he has moved to the back right corner of the room, farthest away from me, and is hidden behind two boys at a vacant desk trying, again, to fall asleep. So I tell Bobby to come to my desk. He laughs and walks up there. For those of you who may not have read about Bobby, Bobby is the class clown. And he’s the kind of kid that likes to push people’s buttons and see what he can get away with. Apparently, he got away with a lot when Terri was teaching before I got here. So now he’s just used to cutting up in Grammar class I guess. Well, when I’m teaching it’s my classroom and I won’t let anybody take control of my classroom unless I let them.
So Bobby’s working the class pretty well at this point. He thinks he got one over on me and so, like I said, I called him to my desk. I had something for him. I say, “ I thought you weren’t tired.” He just smiled that ‘you got me’ smile and didn’t say anything. So I say, you can sit at my desk today since you don’t want to stay awake or stay at your desk. So I let him have a corner of my desk to work on. So he goes to pull up one of two lawn chairs in the room to sit down. “Nope. Stand there,” I said. He shot me a confused look. “I said stand there.” He looked over at the chair and it was the kind of look where he wanted to say something smart and witty but didn’t know how to say it in English. “I’m serious. You can’t fall asleep standing up.” So Bobby stood, kneeled and crouched at my desk doing his work. In the meantime, the whole class is looking and laughing at Bobby in various ways. I had to continue to tell the class to do their work and even threatened Henchi, by far my worst student, with a seat next to Bobby at my desk. After about five minutes I told Bobby to pull up a chair but not to move and show me his work when he’s done. So he asked me a few questions, that was a first, and seemed to understand the concept of the worksheet. So, the kids were saying things to him in Marshallese, things I didn’t understand, and apparently they were all picking at him. So I told everyone to sit down, be quiet and finish their work. Just like in third period, the assignment was supposed to be shown to me when they finished so that I could correct it for them. After about five more minutes the noise level rose yet again, and I got pissed. “Who has finished the first three problems?” The class was silent and three hands went up. You mean to tell me we’ve been working on this assignment for thirty minutes and you guys can’t finish THREE questions? That makes no sense. Everybody sit down in your chair. Sit straight. Be quiet and don’t say another word unless you’re at my desk asking me for help.” They got the hint. No one said anything and they all straightened up rather quickly. A few minutes later the kids flooded to my desk to get their work corrected. At any given time anywhere from three to six kids were at the desk. And Bobby. Retrospectively I realize that I probably shouldn’t have had Bobby at the desk where everyone was coming to.
I’m pretty sure Bobby hit Bruce in the nuts at some point, because while I was looking away helping a student for a second, I saw Bruce stand up straight from a semi-doubled over position and draw back and punch Bobby in the shoulder pretty good. Bruce is the smallest kid in my class and Bobby’s the biggest so i figured it was Bobby picking on Bruce. Nonetheless, I gave Bruce a very stern, “Bruce SIT down, RIGHT now.” When I said that Bobby chuckled and I knew he had done something. “And you be quiet and leave people alone or I’m sending you to the office.” Bobby straightened up and pretended to do more work while I assisted the other kids at the desk. When the crowds died down, I noticed that Bobby kept bending over in his chair like he was picking something up. Then I hear Betesda in the back of the class yell that Bobby said a bad word. Apparently he said it in Marshallese but I didn’t know what it meant so I told him to stop saying bad words and do his work. So he did. So the kids got rowdy again after the first round of corrections so after Betesda, again, little tattle tell, told me that Kalani had said a bad word, I yelled at the class again and told them to sit down and shut up essentially, in much kinder words. After I said that Bobby kept talking and had something pretty provocative to Certhina who sits closest to me and cause Certhina to stand up and come at Bobby. I told Certhina to sit down and then I turned to Bobby and told him to go to the office. He thought I was kidding, and after stalling for about three minutes I picked him up by the wrist and walked him to the office. Meanwhile, haha, all the kids were definitely picking with him now. “Bye bye Bobby”, “Barloeok Bobby”. Just letting him have it, and at this point, he had lost so I think his pride took a beating. I was sure he was gonna lash out before leaving the classroom so I stood between him and the rest of the class the whole time to prevent him from hitting one of the students on the way out. He didn’t try anything. The whole walk to the office I was trying to figure out what to say and how to sound teacherly. So I got to the office and said, “Principal Lenja, Bobby doesn’t seem to remember how to do his work and leave everyone else alone so I think he should come talk to you for the rest of class.” Lenja gave me a look of , “oh gosh, Bobby again” and said okay. I told him that he had a worksheet that he could be working on while you finish your work.
When I got back to the class the kids were all over the place. They were all still talking about Bobby and all had something smart to say. I remember specifically Bien asking me, “Hey Teacher Kyle, where’s Bobby?” I looked at him and said, “Don’t worry about Bobby. Worry about your work, smartass!!” No I didn’t say the last part but I wanted to. It’s so interesting because if I were a student I would have definitely been Bobby or even Bien picking fun at Bobby, never Betesda tattle telling btw, but its so interesting to see how my approach is so different being a teacher. Anyway, I told the class not to worry about Bobby and then I noticed that Bien wasn’t in the right seat, “Is that your seat Bien?” He didn’t say anything but began moving towards his seat. “You better get in your seat and stay in your seat before you join Bobby in the office. Does anybody else want to go to the office today?” No one answered. They worked the rest of the class in silence. I found out later that Bobby is on his last life line. His punishment was an after-school detention for a week cleaning the schoolyard and if he is reported again, he’s been reported by four different teachers already, he will get three day suspension.
So that was my teaching day, after that I went to Tide Table to use the internet being that I hadn’t been online since Saturday and it was Wednesday and my followers were, I’m sure, getting worried about me. So I did that and just ate some onion rings there. I walked back to the school right before the high school let out. Eric was there and so we went up to Malealupe’s classroom and had a jam session on the bongos for the students walking by below us. Shortly thereafter, Malealupe came back and we packed everything up in the back of the school pickup and rode to the location of our gospel choir concert. It was at RRE, and there was a stage set up outside with seats under tents. It looked pretty official. And everything had Defender on it. The Defender Logo was a basketball with like a ring around it, similar to the shape of Saturn. We set up the drum set, and the congos and rocked out a little bit and waited for the choir to show up. The ceremony started at 5, we were supposed to be there at 4:30, Eric and I were there around 3:45 and just hung out. The concert didn’t start until about 6:20 and our pianist didn’t show up until about 6:30. Typical Marshallese. We were first to sing and while we were getting ready, the President of the Marshall Islands showed up. He was late too. So they tell us that we can just practice. With all of the speakers on the stage with us, and a small audience already assembled they said we could practice. So the choir turned away from the audience and sang a few bars of one of our songs. Then they turned around and sang the “We Exalt Thee”. It was then that we found out that Defender was not only a basketball team, but it’s a campaign that is spreading throughout the south Pacific of premium condoms. We were performing at the condom launch. I promise! I couldn’t even make this stuff up. So the Minister of Health spoke, the President spoke, the co-founder of Defender, Jennifer Stopes, spoke and a lady from Youth to Youth spoke. After the lady from YTY spoke, and check this out, there was a huge mound of condoms at the front of the stage with a ribbon on stop and streamers coming down sitting on a table with red table cloth. The lady from YTY and the co-founder then cut the ribbon of Defender condoms in the Marshall Islands. And to top it off, while all of the speakers were speaking, there’s a strobe light positioned directly above the pyramid of condoms blinking the whole time. Why? I don’t know but it was HILARIOUS! By far the funniest so-called-important event that I’ve ever been to.
I felt particularly bad at one spot during the ceremony because, I believe Jennifer Stopes was speaking, but one of the backup singers with Clemmy, an island vocal sensastion, was seated on a white lawn chair on the back of the stage and all of a sudden, the front two legs of the chair COMPLETELY collapsed and this guy just buckled. I was with the Dartmouth crew in the back of the seating area and we couldn’t contain ourselves. I have a feelings Jennifer Stopes thought we could have been laughing at her and I felt bad because it happened right while she was speaking but it was just one thing after another. So after the ribbon cutting ceremony, Clemmy started singing another song and at this point the stage was opened up as a dance floor. Except no one knew that it was open. So some of the organizers of the event were dancing on the stage with each other and we just sat there looking at them awkwardly. Then the MC came back on the mic and notified us that it was in fact an open floor and so people started dancing in the audience but no one went up on stage. Ben and Anna wanted to go up on stage but for some reason never went. I wasn’t even dancing, I was sitting in my seat with my drumsticks just add-libbing on my lawn chair. Then, out of no where, one of the ladies with the Defender t-shirt came up and grabbed me by the hand to come dance on stage. So of course I had to go. So I did a lil two step all the way to the stage and right when I got to the step below the stage the song was over, so I walked back to my seat. The Dartmouth folk LOVED it and the girls from MIHS found it quite amusing as well. The rest of the night consisted of a Fijian women’s dancing group, IDK – a hip hop dance troupe, and two more songs from us. Eric and I had to stay for pretty much the whole concert because we had to take the drums apart and take them back to their appropriate locations. Luckily, the husband of the Minister of Education, volunteered his pickup truck to move the equipment. So myself, Eric, Malealupe, the pianist and one other kid rode with the drums in the back through Majuro to the school and then back to Rita Assembly of God. We played the drums most of the way until we drove past a funeral. Yeah, a funeral at 9:30 p.m. Honestly, it was probably slated to start at like 7. Only in the Marshalls.
So we take the bongos to the school and the drum set to the church and we’re driving back. Four of us in the bed of the truck and two people in the cab. I’m in the corner where the cab connects with the bed on the passenger side. So we’re driving around the high school and there are four of us in the bed of the truck, one in each corner. And I’m looking ahead and I see that there’s a speed bump coming up and Mr. Stege is not braking at all. So, for anyone who has ridden over a speed bump in the bed of a truck, they can tell you that if you don’t readjust your weight the right way, it can really hurt. So I see Mr. Stege rapidly approaching this speed bump, so I raise my butt off the edge of the bed so that my coccyx isn’t severely damaged. As SOON as I raised my body up and shifted my body weight to my arms, Mr. Stege saw the speed bump and he slammed on brakes. So here I am going from about 25 mph to about 4 mph in a very short amount of time and anyone with a background in physics will tell u that an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. So when he slammed on brakes, I fly forward and my legs kick backwards. I sense the top of the cab getting closer to my face so I slam my arms down to try to avoid that collision, almost put a dent in his truck. Luckily I didn’t hit my face, but when my feet kicked up I did kick the kid that was on my side of the truck square in the eye before regaining my balance and dying of laughter.
So that’s the brunt of the hilarity of my day. The only other part that was worth blogging about is in relation to the Defender rally. Derek, Robyn, Peter and Professor Garrod didn’t come to the concert. So we spent much of the night explaining to them the hilarity of the event. It was during that explanation that Derek informed us that he had just gotten into a cab when he heard over the radio someone talking about MIHS Gospel Choir, he then asked the cab driver to turn it up because he knew people in the choir. He didn’t actually hear us singing, but he did ask the cab driver what the occasion was. The cab driver responded, “The Condom Launch”. With that I choose to end today’s entry, until next time, from Majuro, barloeok.